by Dr. Mindy
XGEN's Resident Sexologist

Ah, Valentine's Day! A day that has traditionally been filled with flowers, chocolates, and teddy bears. Today, Valentine's Day represents so much more. This Hallmark holiday now represents a bold new opportunity to embrace our sexual selves.

Let Valentine’s Day be a motivating time to amp up your sex life!

According to the 2017 Millennial Sex Survey, (conducted by a popular brand of condoms), which surveyed people between the ages of 18-34, Valentine’s Day was found to be the most popular day of the year to have sex! This statistic only increases the pressure to have sex on V-Day! As a Sexologist, I say, sex is not the goal, Good Sex is the goal!

How do we have the sex we desire? I have a few sexy tips for you! It’s time for a sexual tune-up! Whether you are cuffed up or not, Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to turn up the heat in your sex life! Make the point to sexually experiment, have a little fun, and make yourself and your partner feel like the sexiest people alive!

Here are a few ways to crank up in your sex life!

Do something that makes you feel sexy in the morning

To have the desire to have sex, we must feel sexy on the inside and out! Start your day by doing something that makes you feel physically sexy and mentally confident. Think outside the box with this one!

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Wear your sexiest piece of lingerie to work
• Start your day with a workout to get those endorphins pumping
• Listen to music that makes you feel emotionally strong
• Do some Kegels during a meeting
• Add a little sexy flirting when chatting with your partner

It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you turn yourself on!

Build a little sexual tension with your S.O.

Maintaining a hot and steamy sex life starts with being able to build and maintain sexual tension! Foreplay starts from the moment you wake up. Know what turns your partner on, and of course what turns your partner off. (You may need to ask your partner this one)

Also, there is nothing sexier than receiving a seductive text. Use that unlimited text plan! Be creative. Be you. Alluring sexy photos really create sexual tension from afar. A sexy photo does not always mean a naked photo, sometimes wearing a little something is sexier! (warning: Sending sexual photos comes with a risk of viral exploitation, only send pictures if you trust the person on the other end)

Want to start your Valentine's Day right?

If you are waking up with your partner, caress their body and get a little riled up, but save the orgasm for later! A little sexual tease creates attraction and desire.

Try something new

Many couples find themselves in sexual ruts. Valentine's day is a great revamp time. Have the Sex Talk! Ask your partner a few questions to give your sex life a tune-up.

Here are a few suggestions:

• Do you have a fantasy that you want to play out with me?
• What is your favorite sexy scene from a movie?
• What's something you've always wanted to ask me to try—but assumed I wouldn't like?
• What is one thing I can do that totally turns you on to the point where you must have me?

One way to increase your libido is the anticipation of trying something new. New experiences can be bringing in a new toy, trying a new position, or experimenting with some different dirty talk.

 (I always recommend lube, just makes everything so much more fun!)

Whether you are coupled up or not, let this Valentine's Day be a motivating holiday to feel sexy in your skin. The best way to have great sex with yourself or a partner is to know your pleasure pathway. Let his holiday remind you to embrace your sexual self and continue exploring your body. If you are in a relationship, I encourage you to let this holiday remind you to share with your partner what you desire, what you want to explore, and learn what you both find sexy!